Updated: Jun 22
So you’re planning your engagement or couples session, but your partner just cannot find the energy to get excited about it? Well trust me you are not alone in this and there is nothing wrong for your partner not feeling the hype yet, especially if they are not one to regularly post about themselves or shutter at the thought of ever taking a selfie.
Getting photos taken of yourselves is not for everyone. It involves being vulnerable and if it’s not something you’re used to it can feel a little uncomfortable having so much attention on oneself. It’s important to remember that just because they might not be excited to get in front of a camera, doesn’t mean they are not looking forward to how the photos will turn out!
Your go-to motivation might be to remind them that they’ll want to look back at these photos for the “rest of your lives together”, so it should be important to them! Or another argument, “just do it for me to make me happy”. Let’s go ahead and throw these arguments out the window for 2021. While yes it may be true, you’ll probably want to get nostalgic in the future and look back on the fun the two of you had together, it now puts an unbearable pressure on your partner to immediately let their walls down. I can guarantee that these will not be the last photos you ever take together and if they’re only showing up to the session to make you happy, then they’ve already taken themselves out of the equation.
So let’s start to re-imagine what an engagement session can look like so your partner is more involved. And maybe they’ll actually start looking forward to the day!
1. Make it a Date!
Think about ways you can use the whole day to really enjoy each other’s company and turn it into a date! Sometimes having that little bit of distraction before an engagement session, especially when you or your partner are nervous, can help put your minds at ease. Planing things like: going to your favorite coffee shop or breakfast place before you session, going on a walk or jog around your neighborhood together, or even stopping by their favorite brewery after your session. These are things that get them excited about the WHOLE DAY with you and not just dreading the moment they have to be in front of a camera. So take the day off and make it an adventure for both of you!
2. Let them help plan!
If all you’ve given them is what time and where to meet then you have already lost their interest. An engagement session doesn’t have to be at a place you have zero connection with. You can go somewhere that sparks memories, like a park where you frequently go on picnic dates, one of your favorite hikes, or walking around your city’s downtown. You can even have it at one of their favorite cafes or bars! There are absolutely no rules when it comes your session. So get them in on the conversation! Where would they have the most fun? What sounds the most interesting to them? Are they interested in exploring something new or going on an adventure? Asking for their feedback will lead to a greater emotional investment on their end, so you can feel supported when it comes to planning the day together.
3. Encourage them to wear what they LOVE!
There is nothing more obvious than when one person picks out their partner’s outfit for an engagement session. ESPECIALLY when it’s an outfit that was purchased for this one and only shoot. Their body language screams they feel uncomfortable and their face says “I have no idea if I even look good in this.” If they have an outfit that they rarely wear or have never been out in public with, then they will subsequently look back at the photos and barely recognize themselves. That’s why giving them the opportunity to choose an outfit with you will give them the confidence to feel like themselves during the session! They also won’t be in a rush to fight through the session just to change out of their clothes when given the chance. It’s about creating memories together and at the end of the day what you or your partner wear rarely matters, as long as you feel comfortable and confident!
4. Acknowledge their effort!
So you made it through the shoot and had a blast! They helped plan the day and feel good in what they’re wearing. Acknowledge what they’ve done with you! It may have been hard for them to be vulnerable in front of a camera, but they did their best and showed effort. So keep the date rollin’! Go out to eat, treat them to their favorite 6-pack, surprise them with coffee the next morning! Show them how much you appreciate them and how excited you are to get the photos back.
So while it’s my job to get you both relaxed and having fun on the shoot, by including some of these tricks you can make the whole day more exciting for both of you! Just remember there are no rules as to where or how you need to have your engagement session… make it your own and I’ll be here to help guide you along every step of the way.
~ Alesha B.